Life is transient

A colleague wrote this to me. It was so well written that it would be a waste not to share it.

"I visited a friend whose wife is suffering from lung and brain cancer in Tan Tock Seng Hospital a few nights ago. It was a good break from marking exam scripts. My friend and I have DownSyndrome children. When I saw him at the hospital that night, he was looking at his wife who was drugged with morphine, his hand on the bed railing, a total picture of calmness and acceptance.
My wife went and stroked his wife's hair, and speaking words of encouragement to her still body. My friend and I spoke. After an hour, we left.
I can still remember these few words from him: "We were retired for a few years and had plans to stay in Australia for a few months with our son who is graduating from the Uni there. My wife is a very healthy person, waking up at 5am, go for walks. Then this thing happen. Life is very transient."
As we journey on this earth, sometimes we think we are in control of our lives. Most times, we find life is transient and we need friends, our wives and for most of us, we need God. "

Another colleague added the following:
"People feel sad when their loved one is leaving them.
When we eat meat, have we thought of the suffering, pain and fear of the animals caused by our greed?"

Chasing Daylight

I just finished reading a book called 'Chasing Daylight' by Eugene O'Kelly. I would rate it as one of the best books that I have ever read. Before reading it, my preferred way to pass on was to die suddenly while reading, sleeping, jogging or even swimming. Now, I think O’Kelly’s death is even more blessed. His ‘death sentence’ enabled him to have proper closure with first his acquaintance, then colleagues, then friends and finally his family members. He was doubly blessed because he had his wife and children beside him and he did not suffer much pain even right up to his end.
We have lots to learn from him. He took his mentor role very seriously and everyone who read his book became his mentee. He did not give up easily either. The fact that he succeed in entering the alternate state of consciousness despite many failed attempts suggested that he was a very determined man.
I even found an answer to my wife’s complaint when I was courting her. That was 16 long years.

A peacock in the Land of penguins

Something you may have received before but a good reminder for everyone. Click here for 'A Peacock in the Land of Penguins' video.

Why I believe?

Recently, a colleague gave me a lift to attend a wake. Coincidentally, the last time, we met outside NP was also at a wake. Invariably, our conversation was centered on health, death and religion. She is a non-believer. While talking to her, I had a deeper understanding of what Jesus said, “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God” (Matthew 19:24)

I am more used to talking in a position of authority to my children and to my students. But this time, it was the other way round. She is obviously more successful than I am – she drives a Mercedes while I take the public transport. She is more intellectual so much so that I have no answers to many of her questions.

Unfortunately, religion is not science. Many of the things are non-repeatable and hard evidences are lost in the passage of time. To me, the Bible contained so much truth, many of which took me decades to discover their validity that the Bible must be inspired by a higher being as many of the Bible writers were lowly educated people.

When I was younger, I rejected Christianity and resent it because it wanted to control my life, I wanted to be free and be able to do what pleased me. Only when I have my own children, I found myself wanting to control them. Not because I am a control freak but because I love them. Isn’t it ironic?

What we cannot see does not mean that it is not there. I like bringing students to Sabah for YEP. One of the things I would do was to show them Mount Kinabalu in the afternoon. They would not be able to see anything because the mountain would be completely covered by the mist. Some students would even seriously question what I told them. The following morning, I would take them to the same spot. The mountain would be in full view as the mist needed the sun's heat to build up. I enjoyed seeing their expressions of wonderment and disbelief that they could miss something so huge the day before. I believe God is like that, He is there but due to our limitations, we cannot see Him. We cannot rationalise too much in religion. The way to God is through our heart.

Valentine's Day

Today is Valentine’s Day. Let me share with you my first Valentine’s Day in NTU. This happened more than twenty years ago. About a week before Valentine’s Day, our tutorial group rep made a sudden announcement that guys with lady lab partners will buy flowers for their partners in the spirit of Valentine’s Day. I was in EEE where ladies were the minority and in my tutorial group of 15, there were only 3 ladies. I was one of the ‘lucky’ ones.
Everyone knows that my lab partner had a steady boyfriend from Accountancy. He was a six-footer. BTW, the Accountancy Department was moved from NUS to NTU to balance the sex ratio in NTU. But I heard of more success stories of accountancy boys pairing up with engineering girls than the other way round. But that was another story.
I thought my group rep was only joking so I didn’t give much of a thought to it. On Valentine’s Day, I notice that almost every girl was holding a flower. I felt sorry for those without any flowers. In the evening as I was studying in my hostel, I heard knocking sound at the door. Almost the whole tutorial group was giggling outside my room. I was dragged and escorted to my lab partner’s hostel.
I was from Hall 3 and she was at Hall 2. The two Halls were about a kilometer apart. But on that day, it definitely looked much farther than that. What followed were the usual pranks that youngsters played. Many photos (printed ones) were taken. It turned out to be quite an enjoyable experience. How often do you become the centre of attraction? The only another time I felt like that was on my wedding day.

Staff message for ECE Mag 09

My staff message for ECE magazine 2009:
When the wind rises and the waves are high, where will you be? Looking for shelter? No way! We will soar the sky and ride the waves and also extend a helping hand to the less fortunate for we are from Ngee Ann.

We are like the shrimps

Every weekend, I will suck out a pail of water from my aquarium and replenish it with fresh water. Among the aquarium inhabitants are some shrimps, no longer than 1 inch when fully grown. In the process of sucking out the dirty water, I will inevitably suck out some baby shrimps which can be as tiny as 1 mm in length. This follows by the tedious process of catching them back to the aquarium. They cannot be caught with normal fishing net as they are too small. We use plastic cup to scoop them in. But it still strains my eyes and back to get them.
One day, when I was struggling to “save” the baby shrimps, my eldest boy came up to me. Looking over my shoulder, he said, “We are liked the shrimps.”
“Uh? What say you?” I thought. I had wanted to protest but knowing better, I bit my tongue and listened him out. He continued, “There you are, trying to save them but they happily run away. We are also like that, God wants to save us but we choose to run away.”

Classroom

My wife works with children with disabilities. Recently, she attended a seminar which I find worthy of sharing. The facilitator showed a picture with some dots to a participant and asked what it was. After some hesitation, the participant said, “A frog?”
The facilitator moved on to another pupil who did not venture an answer, then the next, also no answer and then the next. When no one wanted to try, he put a small piece of chocolate on the table and declare it as a reward for the right answer.
There were some excitement but it quickly die down. Every time the excitement went down, the facilitator would increase the prize by adding one more sweet. Finally, he offered the entire box. By then, the whole class was filled with people shouting their answers. Mind you, this is a group of highly educated people. The correct answer was eventually given by a young engineer.
What is the lesson? The first person to which the question was directed at, felt a lot of pressure. The take away is to avoid asking difficult question to weak students first otherwise we are setting them up for failure. A sweet or two did not motivate the students. The reward seen through the eyes of the pupils must be proportional to the effort that they have to put in. No matter what the prize is, some people just cannot see it. We need to show them instead of testing them.