How I deal with my anger?

What if someone upset you? We certainly don’t want to play this negative happening over and over again in our mind. We all want to be in positive mindset so that we can be at our best. What can we do? Today, I am going to share with you a little trick that I learnt. Way before you get angry, you must build a reservoir of goodwill.

Whenever my wife gets onto my nerves, I’ll mentally switch to a scene in Bras Basah road. It was drizzling; my then girl friend and I were on the fort canning side of Bras Basah. We ran across the road holding hands. As we step into the building, something like a bucket of water fell on her head. I was stunned momentarily and I had expected her to curse … She brushed the water off her head and said, “Blessing from the sky.”
I will remember the moment for the rest of my life. The world around me literally disappeared and all I saw was her face. Time stood still for me in that eternal moment. For the first time in my life, I know I am in love with this woman. How can I ever get angry with her? No way.

My eldest son is very unlike me. I am studious and serious. He is the opposite. I brought him to a toastmaster speech competition but he is more interest in reading his book. But for all his shortcomings, I will always remember the day he made me so happy and proud. I came back to my office and notice that the phone message indicator was turned on. I checked it out and I could hear a high pitch cheery voice. It said, “ Hi papa, I got into the GEP program. OK. OK. OK. I’ll see you.” I was so thrilled I remembered walking down the corridor, a sudden surge of energy went through me and I jumped up like Charlie Chaplin.

My two younger one are dyslexia, their moments are not academic. Many years ago, I was at the West Coast market and my 3 children were very young then, I lugged them with me at a yang-tao-fu store. I gave the storekeeper a 10 dollar note but she returned me with change as if I have given her only 5 dollar. An argument ensued, the seller obviously thought that she could pull a fast one on me as I looked distracted by my children. When I also started to have doubt about the actual amount that I have given to her, my daughter looked straight in my eyes and said, “I saw you giving her 10 dollars.” And that settled the argument.

My youngest boy was struggling academically all along. It was so bad that he was always trying to find excuses for not going to school. So it was a real surprise when he came in fourth in class when he was in primary 4, albeit a weak class. He was awarded a book prize. That morning, I was beaming with pride. It so happen that I bumped into every conceivable neighbor. They would ask why I wasn’t at work. It was my pleasure to explain.

How about your colleague? Like Elizabeth, she made me mad by making me the President of the club when all I wanted was to quit. But I choose to remember her finest moment in my life. There was once she invited me to be a judge at a speech contest. After listening to more than 10 speakers on the same topic, I began to get confused, even to the extent of who is who. I was mesmerized by Lisa’s evaluation. She was able to quote so and so, saying such and such and then gave some pointers on how to improve on certain construct. I have no doubt she will do likewise to me soon. How can you get angry with a woman of such intellectual superiority?

What about others whom you don’t like and can think of nothing positive. This is where your belief comes in. Whenever you think of the nasty event, switch over to your God, surely He can pacify you.

Choose to switch to the positive mental image and be at your best.
I learnt this from a Yoga master: "When you are right, no need to be angry. When you are wrong, you have no rights to be angry."